A Double Act: Sisters serving the dead

It seems that the funeral industry in Singapore is undergoing a youthful and a more feminine transformation.

At 22, Fave Tan Jia Xuan is reportedly Singapore’s youngest apprentice embalmer.

Koh Shixuan, who is also 22 this year, is Singapore’s youngest hearse driver, according to a Shin Min Daily News article, dated 24 October 2021.

Shixuan is the younger sister of 24-year-old Koh Shiyi, both of whom are presently working with Lee Teoh Heng Undertaker Pte Ltd. Both have been working in the industry for the past two years.

At Lee Teoh Heng Undertaker, both sisters perform tasks and duties such as the transportation and the dressing of a deceased, physically helping with the carrying of a casket and decorating the wake site [in accordance with families' wishes]. Shiyi, on her part, is also a funeral emcee.

Their first contact with this industry was through their father, who caters food and beverages for funerals.

Shixuan told Shin Min that since their secondary school days, they have been assisting their father and are no strangers to funeral wakes. In fact, their constant presence at wakes have developed in them “nerve and courage”.

As they come face-to-face with death, they begin to confront death with no fear [and with greater fortitude], added Shixuan.

Sharing their experiences

When asked how her first hearse driving experience was like, Shixuan told Shin Min that she was under huge pressure and was afraid that she will take the wrong directions.

She was also worried that she was unable to optimally control the vehicle’s speed, which would result in the hearse falling behind the bus that bereaved family members were in [on their way to the crematorium or cemetery].

Her elder sister, Shiyi, on the other hand, expressed that “the most challenging part” of being a funeral emcee is the expression of the emotions during the reading of the eulogy for the deceased.

She added that it was important to manage her emotions and not teared while delivering the eulogy on behalf of the bereaved family.

She said, “there were times when confronted with life and death, I would think about the loved ones I have lost, and find myself tearing [during the ceremony], but in order to be professional, I had to hold back my tears, and that, according to Shiyi, is indeed a challenge”.

Source: Shin Min Daily News, 24 October 2021

On duty during Chinese New Year

The sisters were having their reunion dinner earlier this year when they were called upon to attend to the funeral arrangements of a suicide case in Punggol. The deceased, Ng Chee Kok, 45, had fallen from height after stabbing his ex-wife, Iris Ting Su Yin, 42, to death in a “double murder” case that shocked the nation earlier this year.

When called upon, Shiyi told Shin Min that “this is the nature of our job, we are on standby 24-hours”.

Memories of the deceased’s family members' agony are still imprinted on their minds. When she saw the deceased, Shiyi said that “she can’t help but feel sad for him”.

“Even though it was a time of joy and reunion, such a tragedy has happened, and we have to manage our emotions and complete our tasks”. Shiyi added.

Till this day, this funeral is one of their most unforgettable experience.

Sisters’ views on life, death and females in the industry

Many may not understand why they have chosen the funeral industry as the choice of their career. To both sisters, being able to send every deceased on their last journey is, in itself, a very meaningful act.

Shiyi recalled that there were times when people will look at them uncomfortably, especially when they don their work uniforms. They choose to “smile it off” and not be overtly bothered by how others may perceive them.

On her views on life and death, Shiyi told Shin Min that “we need to live in our present moment and treasure every of our loved ones. We will never know what tomorrow will bring”. Shixuan is of the view that we should “respect life and not fear death”.

When asked how she sees females in the funeral industry, Shiyi explained that she do not see females as being inferior to their male counterparts. In fact, comparatively, females “have the advantage as they can better comfort bereaved families.

She hopes that the public can “drop such traditional attitudes” [towards death and the females as caretakers of the dead].

We, at Death Kopitiam, are very heartened to read about Shixuan and Shiyi’s stories, and we hope that they can continue to give their best to every bereaved family in their times of need. We are impressed with the maturity they have shown beyond their tender years, and we send our best wishes and encouragement to them.

Top image: Shin Min Daily News, 24 October 2021

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Disclaimer: The views expressed in this post are that of Death Kopitiam Singapore alone. We are not acting or speaking for any organisations or persons who may be for or against the death penalty. We hope to hear your views on this matter, and may we may find some form of consensus on this matter, however difficult it may be. Thank you.