At the reunion table, grief sits

At the reunion table, grief sits.

In a week's time, many households will gather for their reunion dinners.

This is an annual ritual and a much-prized tradition.

For families who have their loved ones diagnosed with a terminal illness, this year’s reunion could well be their last.

Bereavement sits too close for comfort.

As they eat, their hearts throb with gladness and grief.

An imperfect reunion next year is almost a certainty for these families.

For families who have lost their loved ones in the past year, this year’s reunion will be different and difficult.

To these families, there will be no reunions and no return to a pre-pandemic life and normality.

As they gather this year, reunion and separation are indistinct from each other.

A set of tableware no longer required, a familiar face whose so much further away.

In the aftermath of a suicide, there may even be an awkward silence. 

Memories are served at the table. Their loved ones’ presence is sorely missed.

Every reunion is, ironically, imperfect - an incomplete whole.

Love presides over every table where families gather. But love is also what makes this year’s and possibly next year’s reunion bitter-sweet.

At the reunion table, how should we begin to say “I love you” again?

With each passing day, an expectation that we will and can coast to the next reunion with ease and a little less grief.

With each passing year, the reunion table is a tad more empty, as our bereaved hearts are full of memories.

In this hour of the family huddle, the hour of death is every bit closer to each one of our loved ones.

Reunion is, in fact, a process. It may not be as emotional as depicted. But every reunion is essentially the beginning of the inevitable wait for separation again – we hope and pray that we will “see you again”.

In this 2024 year of the Dragon, it is our hope that we can experience our reunions with a greater semblance of normality. 

But unfortunately, for those who lost loved ones last/this year, there is no return to normality.

At the reunion table, grief sits.

But there is also, in fact, beauty in brokenness. 

As we prepare ourselves to gather for our reunions, let us not forget the less privileged in our society in our midst, those without a family and a home. May they one day recover the joy and love in a reunion.

We, the fortunate ones, must give thanks for another year of reunion. Because that’s a privilege and not a right – it should never be taken for granted.